Yup, you're right I was struck in the neck of the bottle and being so emotional right now! You might think am I stupid and feel like scolding to stop me from the act of suicide, but take it easy dude, I just fine. There was how normal that a people bump into dilemma and I was just choose to escape from the reality for a mean while and refuse to do any decision.
The story of the fighting among angel and devil were starting again, but i just be a deaf, not to hear in additional to forget my Ego, shut down my memories, and turn into a total difference people even thought still in the same shell but least can be spare the mind out and no need to think about those complicated relationship that HYF had, those issued that HYF made, those people that HYF knew. Just be a stupid live inside the body and let HYF died for few second or maybe some hours hence nothing much needed a choke up mind or muse over will do.
Yea maybe I'm not mature to stand and fight alone, to face alone, to overcome those difficulties alone, and act like the loser to escape from the reality but I promised will learn, k? There is no one born to know to be tough, all we can do is experience and learn, moreover I still fragile to work on something but a little move may prove I am still brave enough to try and least I was learning. Just give me some time no need to push me to the death way, do us a favour, I can grow myself with your advise but not help, care of me most of the time but not over protect, be nice to me but not mean to be fake with me.
Yea, I am not mature, if compare to others, maybe I am not weak, if compare to others too, but you know what I got improvement and learnt a lot from my past, in short I had growth.Your debate is there I knows, but something is can't denied.
Again, I'm not tried to be immature but I just need some time to muse and figure out what's next for me!
